Prophetic Parenting: How the Prophet ﷺ Treated Children

You might picture the Prophet ﷺ as a leader, a teacher, a man carrying the weight of a whole community. All true. But he was also a father who buried most of his children, a grandfather who let toddlers climb on him, and a guardian who raised orphans in his own home.

If you want to know how to treat your children, you could do worse than watch him with theirs. The moments below are short, well documented and surprisingly ordinary. That is what makes them so useful: you can live every one of them this week.

Why his example matters for parents

Evidence · Qur’an

لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِى رَسُولِ ٱللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌۭ

“There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern…”

An “excellent pattern” is not only for prayer and fasting. It covers how he spoke at the dinner table and what he did when a child interrupted him. The Qur’an also names the quality that drew people to him:

Evidence · Qur’an

“So by mercy from Allah, you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude in speech and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.”

That verse was about his companions, but every parent of a teenager will recognise the truth in it. Harshness pushes people away. Gentleness keeps them close enough to guide.

He played and joked with children

Anas ibn Malik (RA) had a little brother, newly weaned, who had a pet bird. Whenever the Prophet ﷺ visited, he would tease the boy with a little rhyme about it.

Evidence · Hadith

يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ

“O Abu ʿUmayr! What did the little bird do?”

Think about what that means. The most important man in Madinah learned a toddler’s pet’s name, gave the child a grown-up nickname, and asked after the bird every time. Anas says it plainly: the Prophet ﷺ used to “mix with us” like this (Sahih al-Bukhari 6129).

He also let children use him as a climbing frame, even in prayer.

Evidence · Hadith

A companion raised his head during a long prostration and saw a child, al-Hasan or al-Husayn, on the Prophet’s ﷺ back. Afterwards the people asked why the prostration had been so long. He said: “My son was riding on my back and I did not like to hurry him until he had finished.”

At home: learn the names of your child’s toys, characters and friends, and ask about them. Get on the floor. Let a game run a little longer than you planned. (Our guide to play and serve-and-return goes deeper.)

He showed affection openly

Evidence · Hadith

The Prophet ﷺ kissed al-Hasan ibn ʿAli while al-Aqraʿ ibn Habis was sitting with him. Al-Aqraʿ said: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet ﷺ looked at him and said: “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”

مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمُ لاَ يُرْحَمُ

In many cultures, fathers especially were raised to believe that affection makes children soft. You may have grown up with that. This hadith quietly overturns it. Kissing a child in public was not beneath the Prophet ﷺ; withholding it was what he questioned.

At home: hug and kiss your children where others can see, including the older ones who pretend not to want it. Fathers, this one is especially for you.

He was patient with mistakes

Anas (RA) was given to the Prophet ﷺ as a young helper and lived in his household for about ten years. His summary of that decade is one of the most quoted sentences in parenting:

Evidence · Hadith

خَدَمْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَشْرَ سِنِينَ، فَمَا قَالَ لِي أُفٍّ‏.‏ وَلاَ لِمَ صَنَعْتَ وَلاَ أَلاَّ صَنَعْتَ

“I served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years, and he never said ‘uff’ to me, nor ‘Why did you do that?’ or ‘Why didn’t you do that?’”

Ten years with a child, and not one exasperated sigh. Not one “Why did you do that?”, the question every parent asks a dozen times a day and which rarely gets a useful answer.

ʿAishah (RA) adds:

Evidence · Hadith

“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when fighting in the path of Allah.”

This does not mean he had no standards. It means he corrected without contempt. If you are working out how to correct your own children without hitting or shaming, see Islamic discipline without hitting.

At home: next time something is spilled, broken or forgotten, try skipping “Why did you…?” and go straight to “Let’s sort it out. What do we need?”

Patience is easier to admire than to practise at the end of a long day. It helps to remember that children are not adults who are behaving badly; they are still learning how the world works. A six-year-old who forgets their shoes for the third time this week is not defying you. A teenager who snaps after school is often exhausted, not disrespectful. Whether your family’s roots are in Lahore, Cairo, Lagos or Leeds, the pressure to have “well-behaved” children in front of relatives can be intense. The Prophet’s ﷺ example gives you permission to put the child’s dignity ahead of other people’s opinions.

He taught gently and directly

When the Prophet ﷺ taught a child, he was brief, specific and warm. ʿUmar ibn Abi Salamah (RA) was his stepson, growing up in his care. As a boy, his hand used to wander all over the shared dish.

Evidence · Hadith

يَا غُلاَمُ سَمِّ اللَّهَ، وَكُلْ بِيَمِينِكَ وَكُلْ مِمَّا يَلِيكَ

“Young man, mention the name of Allah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.”

Three short instructions, given in the moment, without a lecture or an audience laughing. ʿUmar said he ate that way for the rest of his life.

With ʿAbdullah ibn ʿAbbas (RA), then a boy riding behind him, he chose a quiet moment to teach something bigger:

Evidence · Hadith

يَا غُلاَمُ إِنِّي أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ احْفَظِ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْكَ

“O boy, I will teach you some words: be mindful of Allah and He will protect you…”

Notice the opening: “I will teach you some words.” He got the child’s attention, told him something valuable was coming, then kept it short enough to remember.

At home, some scripts to borrow:

• At the table: “Bismillah first, then the right hand. Good.”
• On the way somewhere: “Can I tell you something important? It’s short.”
• After a mistake: “Next time, try this…” rather than “You always…”

He considered parents and babies in worship

Even in prayer, children and their mothers were on his mind.

Evidence · Hadith

“I stand for prayer intending to make it long, then I hear a child crying, so I shorten my prayer because I do not want to make things hard for his mother.”

And he did not shut children out of worship. He prayed carrying his granddaughter Umamah, putting her down when he prostrated and picking her up when he stood (Sahih al-Bukhari 516).

For parents today, this matters in two directions. If you take little ones to the masjid and they make noise, the Prophet’s ﷺ own practice was to make room for them. And at home, your toddler wandering across the prayer mat is not ruining your salah; it is how children come to love it.

Bringing it home this week

You do not need to change everything. Pick one or two of these and try them for seven days.

1. Learn one name. The pet, the favourite toy, the best friend. Ask about it by name, the way he asked about Abu ʿUmayr’s bird.
2. One public hug a day. At the school gate, in front of grandparents, wherever. Mercy shown openly.
3. Drop “why did you”. Replace it with “what do we need to fix this?”
4. Teach in one sentence. Catch the moment, say it kindly, stop.
5. Let them join your worship. A child on your back in sujood is a sunnah moment, not an interruption.

None of this means you will never lose your temper. You will. When you do, repair it: apologise, hug, start again. The Prophet’s ﷺ example is a direction to walk in, not a standard to beat yourself with. For more on the bigger picture, read what children are owed in Islam, and when your child is old enough, teach them about the Prophet ﷺ through these same stories.