Play Is Sunnah: How Playing With Your Child Builds Their Brain

You’re on the floor with your one-year-old, stacking the same three cups for the fortieth time. They knock them down, laugh, and look at you: again. Part of you wonders if this is really the best use of your time when there’s washing to do, Qur’an to read, a world to keep up with.

It is. This guide explains why: what the sunnah shows about playing with children, what child-development research says, and how to turn ordinary play into the kind of back-and-forth that helps build a young brain.

Play in the sunnah

The Prophet ﷺ was the most serious of people about his mission, and he still made time for small children and their small worlds.

He knew a little boy’s nickname, knew about his pet, and asked after it. That is serve and return: noticing what a child cares about and responding to it.

He let a child finish his game, even in prayer. And play wasn’t only for children:

Playfulness, physical affection and attention were part of his character. When a man was surprised to see him kiss his grandson, he answered: “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5997). More of these narrations are gathered in how the Prophet ﷺ treated children.

What science says

The Harvard Center on the Developing Child uses a tennis image: serve and return.

• A baby serves: a coo, a look, a point, a cry, a cup held up for you to see.
• An adult returns: you look where they’re looking, smile, answer, name it.
• Then the baby serves again, and the game goes on.

According to the Center, these simple exchanges help build the architecture of the developing brain, laying foundations for language, attention and later learning. When serves are regularly ignored, children miss out on that building. When they’re returned with warmth, children learn that the world responds to them and that they matter.

You don’t need special toys or a curriculum. You need to notice, and answer.

Five steps of serve and return

The Center breaks it down into five steps. Here they are in plain words, with what each looks like at home.

Play ideas by age

0–12 months

• Face time. Hold your baby 20–30cm from your face and copy their sounds and expressions.
• Peekaboo. With your hands, a muslin, or a cushion.
• Narrate. “Now we’re putting your socks on. One sock. Two socks. Bismillah, let’s go.”
• Songs with actions. Nursery rhymes in any of your family’s languages, or a simple nasheed with clapping.
• Tummy time together. Lie down at their level and chat.

1–2 years

• Stacking and knocking down. Cups, blocks, boxes. Name everything as it falls.
• Pretend play. Feed teddy with a spoon. “Bismillah, teddy!”
• Nature walks. Collect leaves and stones. “Allah made this leaf. Look, it’s crunchy.”
• Helping. Sorting socks, washing a plastic plate. Toddlers love real jobs.
• Picture books. Point and name; let them turn the pages.

2–3 years

• Chasing games. “I’m going to catch you!” (with plenty of letting them win).
• Role play. A pretend picnic, a pretend shop, a pretend “masjid” with cushions as prayer mats.
• Simple sorting games. Colours, sizes, animals.
• Water and sand. Pouring, filling, splashing, with you close by.
• Making things together. Play dough, painting, building a “house” from a blanket.

Context notes

• In extended-family homes, grandparents, aunts and cousins are wonderful playmates. Encourage them; serve and return works with anyone who loves your child.
• In small flats or cold climates, play doesn’t need a garden. A cushion fort or a walk to the corner shop to look at the buses counts.
• Different heritages have their own games. Clapping rhymes in Arabic, Urdu lullabies, Somali songs, Turkish finger games: passing them on is play and heritage at once.

Screens vs play

At this age, a screen can’t return a serve. A video doesn’t wait for your toddler’s babble or follow their pointing finger. That’s one reason the American Academy of Pediatrics advises avoiding screen media for children under 18 months, apart from video-chatting with family. A video call with Grandma is different: she can see, hear and respond.

None of this is about guilt. Every tired parent sometimes needs a few minutes. But when you can, swap the screen for a back-and-forth, even a short one. Our guide to screens for babies and toddlers looks at this in more detail, and sunnah habits for babies shows how play fits into a simple daily rhythm.