Praise, Rewards and Motivation: What Works for Muslim Kids

“If you pray all five prayers this week, you can have a new game.” It’s tempting. It might even work, for a while. But many Muslim parents feel uneasy: are we teaching our children to worship Allah, or to work for prizes?

This guide looks at what research says about rewards and praise, what the sunnah shows us about encouraging children, and how to motivate children in a way that lasts beyond the sticker chart.

The worry: bribing worship

The concern is real. Worship in Islam is about intention.

Evidence · Hadith

“Actions are only by intentions, and every person will have what they intended…” Narrated by ʿUmar ibn al-Khattab (RA).

If a child prays only to earn a reward, what happens when the reward stops? We want children to pray because they love Allah and feel close to Him, not because they’re saving up for a bike.

At the same time, young children aren’t yet adults, and they don’t yet have mature intentions. Some encouragement along the way is part of how every habit begins. The question is how to encourage, not whether.

What research says, in plain words

Psychologists distinguish between two kinds of motivation:

• Intrinsic: doing something because it matters to you, or you enjoy it.
• Extrinsic: doing something to get a reward or avoid a punishment.

A major review of 128 experiments by Deci, Koestner and Ryan (1999) found that expected, tangible rewards (prizes promised in advance for doing a task) tended to reduce people’s own interest in the activity afterwards. Tangible rewards tended to be more harmful for children than for college students. But positive feedback, meaning sincere, informative praise, tended to increase interest.

A well-known set of studies by Mueller and Dweck (1998) found that children praised for being clever (“You’re so smart!”) later gave up more easily after failure and enjoyed tasks less. Children praised for their effort kept trying and believed they could improve.

In other words: prizes promised in advance can backfire; warm, specific feedback about effort tends to help.

The sunnah of encouragement

The Prophet ﷺ was a master encourager. He didn’t run on prizes. He ran on attention, warmth and kind, specific words.

He took children’s interests seriously.

Evidence · Hadith

Anas (RA) said the Prophet ﷺ used to mix with us so closely that he would say to my younger brother, “O Abu ʿUmayr, what did the nughayr do?” (The nughayr was the boy’s little bird.)

Attention is the most powerful reward a child can receive.

He praised specifically, and nudged gently. ʿAbdullah ibn ʿUmar (RA), as a young man, told his sister Hafsah (RA) about a frightening dream, and she told the Prophet ﷺ. He said:

Evidence · Hadith

“What a good man ʿAbdullah is, if only he prayed at night.” After that, ʿAbdullah would sleep only a little at night.

Notice the shape: genuine praise first, then one gentle suggestion. No lecture. It changed ʿAbdullah’s habits for life.

He warned against over-the-top praise. When a man praised another lavishly in his presence, the Prophet ﷺ said, “You have cut your companion’s neck,” and taught that if we praise, we should say “I consider him to be such-and-such, and Allah knows best” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2662 · Sahih). Inflated praise can make people arrogant or anxious. Honest, measured praise is better.

He looked at hearts, not appearances. “Allah does not look at your bodies or your faces, but He looks at your hearts” (from Sahih Muslim 2564 · Sahih). Our praise can follow that: notice effort, kindness and sincerity more than looks or results.

Small comforts for hard worship were used. Ar-Rubayyiʿ bint Muʿawwidh (RA) described how, on the day of ʿAshura, they had their young children fast and made them toys of wool to play with if they cried for food until it was time to break the fast (Sahih al-Bukhari 1960 · Sahih). A toy to help a child through a hard fast is encouragement, not bribery.

How to praise

• Be specific. Say what they did.
• Praise effort and choices, not fixed traits.
• Connect to Allah warmly: “Allah loves it when we’re patient like that.”
• Say MashaAllah and make dua for them out loud: “May Allah make salah beloved to you.”
• Don’t overdo it. Honest beats inflated.

When rewards help

Rewards aren’t forbidden, and they aren’t always harmful. They can be useful when:

• Starting a new practical habit (brushing teeth, getting dressed, tidying up), especially with young children.
• Marking a milestone: a first full day of five prayers, finishing Juz ʿAmma, a first fast. A special breakfast or a trip feels like a celebration, not a payment.
• Getting through something hard, like the wool toys for fasting children.

To use rewards well:

1. Make them unexpected where you can. “You worked so hard on your surah this week, let’s go to the park!” works better than a promised prize.
2. Prefer experiences and time with you over things.
3. Fade them out. Once the habit is settled, drop the chart and keep the praise.
4. Be wary with worship. Many parents avoid tying everyday salah or Qur’an to prizes, and save rewards for milestones.

What to avoid

• Comparisons. “Your cousin prays all five already” breeds resentment, not motivation. See sibling rivalry and fairness.
• Public shaming. Announcing a child’s missed prayers to the family turns worship into humiliation.
• Losing streaks. “You missed one, so you’re back to zero” makes children feel like failures and can make them give up entirely.
• Threats about Allah. “Allah will be angry if you don’t pray” may get a prayer today and fear tomorrow.
• Punishment as motivation. See Islamic discipline without hitting.

Evidence · Hadith

“Make things easy and do not make them difficult. Give good news and do not drive people away.” Narrated by Anas ibn Malik (RA).

For salah specifically, see our printable kids’ salah chart and how to make salah enjoyable for kids. And for talking about the greatest reward of all, see teaching kids about Jannah.