Islamophobia and Bullying: How to Help Your Muslim Child

No parent is ready for the day their child comes home and says, “Someone said Muslims are terrorists.” Or, “They pulled my scarf.” Or, more quietly, “I don’t want to go to school.”

Anti-Muslim bullying happens in many countries, in playgrounds, classrooms and online. CAIR’s guide for families mentions a 2021 survey by its California office in which more than half of respondents said they had felt unsafe, unwelcome or uncomfortable at school because of their Muslim identity. Your child is not alone, and neither are you.

This guide covers the signs, what to say, how to work with school, how to escalate in the UK, US, Canada and Australia, and how to help your child stay proud of who they are.

Signs to watch for

Children often don’t say it straight out. They may feel embarrassed, worry about being called a “snitch”, or think nothing will change. Look for changes like:

• Not wanting to go to school, or lots of tummy aches on school mornings
• Coming home quiet, angry or tearful
• Avoiding the bus, a certain lesson, lunch or the playground
• Torn clothes, a damaged bag, missing things
• Hiding signs of being Muslim: asking to skip a packed lunch, take off a scarf, or change their name at school
• Saying unkind things about Islam or about themselves
• Upsetting messages, or suddenly not wanting to use a phone or game

One sign on its own may be nothing. A pattern is worth a gentle conversation.

Listening first

When your child tells you, your first reaction shapes whether they tell you next time. Breathe before you speak.

Say things like:

• “Thank you for telling me. That took courage.”
• “This is not your fault. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.”
• “Being Muslim is a good thing. What they said is wrong.”
• “We’re going to sort this out together. You’re not on your own.”
• “What would help you feel safer tomorrow?”

Try not to say:

• “Just ignore them.” (They probably already tried.)
• “Hit them back.”
• “What did you do to start it?”
• “I’m going straight up there now.” (Agree a plan with your child first, unless they’re in danger.)

Working with school

Schools in the UK, US, Canada and Australia are generally expected to have an anti-bullying policy. Ask for it. Then follow these steps.

1. Keep a log

Write things down as soon as you can. A simple log might look like this:

• Date and time: Tuesday 4 March, lunchtime
• Where: Playground near the field
• Who: Two Year 5 boys (names if known)
• What happened: Called her a terrorist, pulled her headscarf
• Witnesses: Her friend Amira
• Reported to: Mrs Clarke, Wednesday morning
• Evidence: Photo of torn scarf; screenshots of messages
• School’s response: (fill in after each conversation)

For online bullying, take screenshots before blocking or reporting. Keep everything in one folder.

2. Ask for a meeting

Email the class teacher (or form tutor) and ask to meet. Keep the tone calm and specific:

Dear Mrs Clarke, I’d like to arrange a meeting about something that has been happening to Maryam at school. Over the last two weeks she has been called names relating to her religion, and on 4 March her headscarf was pulled and torn. I’ve attached a short log. Could we meet this week to agree a plan? Thank you, Fatima Ahmed.

3. In the meeting

• Share the log. Ask what the school already knows.
• Ask what will happen now, who will do it, and by when.
• Ask how your child can report things quietly in future, and who their trusted adult is.
• Agree when you’ll check in again, usually within a week or two.
• Afterwards, send a short email summarising what was agreed.

Escalating

If the bullying continues or the school doesn’t act, go up step by step. Keep your log updated.

UK. Class teacher or form tutor → head of year or headteacher → the school’s formal complaints procedure and governors → the local authority (or the academy trust). You can also report anti-Muslim incidents to Tell MAMA, which records anti-Muslim hate. Children can talk to Childline for free on 0800 1111.

US. StopBullying.gov suggests: teacher → school counselor → principal → school superintendent → State Department of Education. If harassment based on religion isn’t addressed, you can contact the superintendent, your State Department of Education or the US Department of Education. CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) publishes a bullying guide for families and may offer legal help. If someone is feeling hopeless or thinking of suicide, call or text 988.

Canada. Teacher → principal → school board. The National Council of Canadian Muslims (NCCM) supports families facing Islamophobia. Children can contact Kids Help Phone on 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.

Australia. Teacher → principal → your state or territory education department. You can report anti-Muslim incidents to the Islamophobia Register Australia. For serious online abuse, the eSafety Commissioner can help. Children can call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

Elsewhere in Europe, the chain is similar: teacher, head, then the local or regional education authority. Look for national anti-discrimination bodies and Muslim community organisations in your country.

Building resilience

Bullying can make a child want to hide who they are. Your job is to help them feel more Muslim, not less: safe, proud and calm.

Remind them that the best people in history were mocked too. The Prophet ﷺ was hurt by people who rejected him, and Allah comforted him:

Evidence · Qur’an

وَلَقَدْ نَعْلَمُ أَنَّكَ يَضِيقُ صَدْرُكَ بِمَا يَقُولُونَ

“And We already know that your breast is constrained by what they say. So exalt [Allah] with praise of your Lord and be of those who prostrate [to Him]. And worship your Lord…”

Even Allah’s Messenger ﷺ felt hurt by words. Feeling sad is not weakness. And the comfort Allah gave him was to turn to prayer and remembrance.

After a very hard day at Ta’if, when people rejected him, an angel offered to punish them. The Prophet ﷺ said:

Evidence · Hadith

“No, but I hope that Allah will let them beget children who will worship Allah alone…” Narrated by ʿAishah (RA).

He also told of an earlier prophet who was beaten by his own people and wiped the blood from his face, saying, “O Allah! Forgive my nation, for they have no knowledge.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3477.)

For older children, talk about what strong, dignified responses look like:

Evidence · Qur’an

وَعِبَادُ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى ٱلْأَرْضِ هَوْنًۭا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ ٱلْجَٰهِلُونَ قَالُوا۟ سَلَٰمًۭا

“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace.”

Evidence · Qur’an

وَلَا تَسْتَوِى ٱلْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا ٱلسَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ٱدْفَعْ بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا ٱلَّذِى بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُۥ عَدَٰوَةٌۭ كَأَنَّهُۥ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيمٌۭ

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.”

Be clear with your child: responding with peace doesn’t mean putting up with harm. It means not stooping to cruelty and telling an adult so it stops.

Practical ways to build resilience:

• Practise short replies. “That’s not true. Muslims are just people.” Then walk away and tell an adult.
• Strengthen their circle. Muslim friends, a youth group, cousins. Belonging somewhere makes rejection elsewhere hurt less. (See raising confident Muslim kids.)
• Celebrate who they are. Eid, their name, their heritage, their languages.
• Help them handle big feelings. Anger and sadness are normal. Our guide to big feelings has ideas.

Hijab and bullying

Some girls are targeted for wearing a headscarf. Never pressure your daughter in either direction while she’s hurting. Talk with her, deal firmly with the bullying, and keep her safe. If she wants to talk about hijab, our guide on teaching hijab gently may help. For questions about the ruling in situations of real danger, ask a scholar you trust.

Responding to news events

When there’s an attack on Muslims somewhere in the world, or a hostile headline, children notice. They hear it on the radio, see it on a phone, or hear adults talking.

• Ask what they’ve heard first. Then correct what’s wrong, simply.
• Keep it age-appropriate. Younger children need reassurance more than detail: “Something sad happened far away. We’re safe, and lots of people are helping.”
• Limit the news. Repeated videos and images aren’t good for children.
• Pray together for the people affected. It gives children something to do.
• Point to the helpers. The neighbours, police, teachers and people of other faiths who stand with Muslims.

Evidence · Hadith

“You see the believers as regards their being merciful among themselves and showing love among themselves and being kind, resembling one body, so that, if any part of the body is not well then the whole body shares the sleeplessness and fever with it.” Narrated by an-Nuʿman ibn Bashir (RA).

Feeling sad for Muslims elsewhere is part of faith. Help your child turn that feeling into dua and kindness, not fear.

For the bigger picture, see our guide to raising Muslim kids in the West.