Islamic Manners for Kids: The Adab Checklist (Printable)

You’ve just sat down at a relative’s house. Your five-year-old reaches across the table, grabs the biggest samosa, announces that the rice is “yucky”, and runs off without a salam. Everyone smiles politely. You want the floor to swallow you.

Every parent has a moment like this. Manners aren’t something children are born with. They’re taught, gently and repeatedly, over years. This checklist breaks Islamic manners into everyday places, with the sunnah behind each one, so you know what to focus on and why.

Adab means beauty of conduct

Adab (good manners) is sometimes translated as etiquette, but it’s richer than that. It means doing things in the most beautiful way: with awareness of Allah, respect for people, and care for the world around us. Akhlaq is the inner character behind it.

Evidence · Hadith

“The best of you are those with the best character.” Narrated by ʿAbdullah ibn ʿAmr (RA).

For children aged 3 to 6, adab is learned almost entirely by copying. Your Bismillah, your salam, your “thank you” to the bus driver: these are the lessons.

At the table

Evidence · Hadith

“Young man, say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.” Said by the Prophet ﷺ to ʿUmar ibn Abi Salamah (RA) when he was a boy.

Evidence · Hadith

“The Prophet ﷺ never criticised any food. If he liked it he ate it, and if he disliked it he left it.” Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (RA).

• ☐ Say Bismillah before eating.
• ☐ Eat and drink with the right hand.
• ☐ Eat from what’s in front of you, not across the plate.
• ☐ Don’t criticise food. “No, thank you” instead of “Yuck!”
• ☐ Say Alhamdulillah when finished.
• ☐ Help clear the table.

At home

Evidence · Qur’an

“O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants…”

The Prophet ﷺ also taught that if you ask permission three times and aren’t answered, you go back (Sahih al-Bukhari 6245 · Sahih).

• ☐ Salam when coming in and going out.
• ☐ Knock and wait before entering a closed room, including parents’ and siblings’ rooms.
• ☐ Ask before borrowing someone’s things.
• ☐ Help without being asked: shoes away, toys tidied, a hand with the shopping.
• ☐ Say thank you to family members, not only guests.

With guests and elders

Evidence · Hadith

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honour his guest… and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or keep quiet.” Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (RA).

Evidence · Hadith

An older man came to speak to the Prophet ﷺ and the people were slow to make room for him. The Prophet ﷺ said: “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.” Narrated by Anas ibn Malik (RA).

• ☐ Greet guests with salam and a smile.
• ☐ The younger greets the older first (Sahih al-Bukhari 6231 · Sahih).
• ☐ Offer a drink, a seat or a plate to guests.
• ☐ Make room for elders; offer them the best seat.
• ☐ Don’t interrupt; wait for a pause.

Respect runs both ways. Anas ibn Malik (RA) once passed some children and greeted them with salam, saying, “The Prophet ﷺ used to do this” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6247 · Sahih). Greet your children too. They learn to give salam by receiving it.

In the masjid

Children have always been part of the masjid. The Prophet ﷺ prayed while carrying his granddaughter Umamah, and once lengthened his sujood because his grandson was riding on his back (Sahih al-Bukhari 516 · Sahih; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1141 · Sahih, al-Albani). Let your child feel welcome there. Our guide to taking kids to the mosque covers this in detail.

Evidence · Hadith

“When one of you enters the mosque, let him pray two rakʿahs before sitting.” Narrated by Abu Qatadah (RA).

• ☐ Shoes off and lined up neatly.
• ☐ Wudu before prayer (older children).
• ☐ Two rakʿahs on arriving, if old enough. Scholars differ on details of this prayer; it’s a good habit to start gently.
• ☐ Quiet voices, walking feet.
• ☐ Don’t walk in front of someone who is praying.
• ☐ Leave it cleaner than you found it.

Speech

Evidence · Hadith

“A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe…” Narrated by ʿAbdullah ibn ʿAmr (RA).

Evidence · Qur’an

“…And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames…”

Evidence · Hadith

“Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.” Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (RA).

• ☐ Please and thank you. JazakAllahu khayran (“May Allah reward you with good”) is a lovely Islamic thank you.
• ☐ No name-calling, mocking or “jokes” that hurt.
• ☐ Kind words or quiet words.
• ☐ Say sorry when you’ve hurt someone.
• ☐ Tell the truth, even when it’s hard. (See teaching kids honesty.)

Online

Even young children now video-call grandparents and watch shows. As they grow, the same adab applies to screens.

Evidence · Qur’an

“…do not spy or backbite each other…”

• ☐ Say salam on video calls and messages.
• ☐ Only post or send what you’d say to someone’s face.
• ☐ Ask permission before sharing someone else’s photo.
• ☐ No snooping in other people’s phones or messages.
• ☐ Tell a parent if something online feels wrong or scary.

With friends and at school

Adab doesn’t stop at the front door. Nursery and school are where children practise it with people who aren’t family, including friends of other faiths.

• ☐ Take turns and share. “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” (Sahih al-Bukhari 13 · Sahih).
• ☐ Include the child who is on their own.
• ☐ Kind hands: no pushing, grabbing or hitting.
• ☐ Listen when the teacher or another child is speaking.
• ☐ Look after things that belong to others and to the class.
• ☐ Be kind to everyone, whatever their religion. Good manners are part of how a Muslim child shows what Islam is.

Age guide: what to expect

Manners grow with your child. Don’t expect a three-year-old to manage what a six-year-old can.

How to use this checklist

1. Pick one section a week. Start with the table. It happens three times a day.
2. Practise in play. Tea parties are perfect for Bismillah, right hands and “no, thank you”.
3. Notice the good. “You gave salam to Nana without being reminded. That made her so happy.”
4. Remind, don’t nag. One calm reminder, then let it go until next time.
5. Look at yourself first. Children check whether we do what we ask.

Many of these manners are also daily sunnahs; see our list of daily sunnah habits for kids. For respecting parents in particular, see teaching kids to respect parents.