Postpartum Depression and Faith: A Guide for Muslim Mothers

You have a baby you prayed for. Everyone says you should be happy. And yet you feel flat, or frightened, or tearful for no reason you can name. Maybe you lie awake while the baby sleeps. Maybe you look at your child and feel guilty that you don’t feel what you expected to feel.

If that is you, please read this slowly: you are not failing, and you are not a bad Muslim. You may be unwell, and you deserve care.

You are not failing

Postnatal depression (also called postpartum depression) is common and treatable. It is not caused by a lack of gratitude, too little Qur’an, or weak iman (faith). Sleep loss, hormonal changes, a difficult birth, a baby who needs a lot of care, money worries, isolation and past mental-health difficulties can all play a part. Sometimes there is no clear reason at all.

Faith does not make anyone immune to illness. The Prophet ﷺ, the most faithful of people, felt grief deeply and did not hide it.

Evidence · Hadith

As his baby son Ibrahim was dying, the eyes of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ shed tears. ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf (RA) said, “Even you, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “This is mercy,” and then: “The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord.” Narrated by Anas ibn Malik (RA).

Sadness is not a sin. Tears are not a lack of trust in Allah. They are part of being human, and the Prophet ﷺ called them mercy.

Evidence · Qur’an

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.

Baby blues or postnatal depression?

This section summarises NHS guidance. It is not a diagnosis; only a health professional can tell you what is going on.

Signs of postnatal depression that the NHS lists include:

• low mood, or finding it hard to enjoy anything
• feeling hopeless, or that you can’t cope
• feeling guilty, worthless or like a bad parent
• constant worry, fear or anxiety
• feeling restless or irritable
• trouble sleeping even when you have the chance to rest
• difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• difficult feelings about your baby, or struggling to bond
• thoughts of suicide or of harming yourself or your baby

You don’t need to have all of these to deserve help. If a few sound familiar and have lasted more than two weeks, speak to your GP, midwife or health visitor. In the US, speak to your OB-GYN, midwife or family doctor.

Faith and treatment together

Some mothers hear, from others or from inside their own heads, “If you just trusted Allah more, you wouldn’t need medicine.” That is not what the Prophet ﷺ taught.

Evidence · Hadith

مَا أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ دَاءً إِلاَّ أَنْزَلَ لَهُ شِفَاءً

“There is no disease that Allah has sent down except that He has also sent down its cure.” Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (RA).

When people asked him whether they should seek treatment, he answered plainly:

Evidence · Hadith

“Make use of medical treatment, for Allah has not made a disease without appointing a remedy for it, with the exception of one disease: old age.” Narrated by Usamah ibn Sharik (RA).

This is tawakkul (trust in Allah) in practice: you take the means, and you trust Allah with the outcome. Talking therapy, such as CBT, and antidepressants are both means. So are sleep, food, a walk in daylight and a friend who listens. So is dua.

Evidence · Qur’an

فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

Faith can be a real comfort through all this. Some mothers find a single verse, a short dhikr or listening to recitation steadies them. Others find that, for a while, worship feels heavy and distant. Both experiences are common. If prayer feels hard right now, that is a symptom to mention to your doctor, not a verdict on your soul. If you are also unsure what you’re required to pray during the postnatal bleeding, our guide to nifas and the 40 days explains the main views.

Evidence · Hadith

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer: there is good for him in all of it. If something pleasing happens, he gives thanks, and that is good for him. If hardship befalls him, he is patient, and that is good for him.” Narrated by Suhayb (RA).

Patience (sabr) does not mean suffering in silence. It means holding on to Allah while you get through something hard, and getting help is part of getting through.

What not to say (and what to say instead)

Families usually mean well. But some words, however kindly meant, can make a struggling mother hide her pain. If you are a husband, mother, mother-in-law, sister or friend, this section is for you.

For mothers who are also carrying guilt about not “doing enough”, our guide to Muslim mom burnout and guilt may help.

How partners and families can help

Concrete help beats general offers. “Let me know if you need anything” puts the work back on her. Try these instead:

• Take a night shift. If she is bottle-feeding or expressing, take a feed. If she is breastfeeding, do the changing, winding and settling so she can go straight back to sleep.
• Protect one long stretch of sleep every day if you can.
• Bring food, not opinions. Hot meals, snacks within reach, a full water bottle.
• Manage visitors. Keep visits short, and turn away anyone who criticises.
• Go with her to the GP or health visitor if she wants you there, and help her say what she has been feeling.
• Watch for the warning signs below. She may not see them in herself.
• Fathers, look after yourselves too. Fathers and partners can become depressed after a baby arrives. Read more in our guide to the role of the father.

Urgent help

Postpartum psychosis is rare but serious. The NHS says it should be treated as a medical emergency. It usually starts suddenly in the first two weeks after birth, sometimes within hours or days. Signs include:

• hearing, seeing or believing things that aren’t real
• being very confused
• feeling very “high”, talking or thinking too fast, or very restless
• severe low mood, or rapid swings between high and low

A mother with psychosis may not realise she is ill. Partners and family often have to act. With the right treatment, most people make a full recovery.

What to do:

• Danger now, including thoughts of suicide or harming the baby: call 999 (UK) or 911 (US), or go to A&E / the emergency room.
• Signs of psychosis without immediate danger: contact a GP for an urgent same-day assessment. In the UK you can call 111 if you can’t reach a GP.
• Someone to talk to, any time: Samaritans 116 123 (UK) or call or text 988 (US Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
• Ongoing support: in the UK, PANDAS offers support groups, a text line and a callback service. In the US and worldwide, Postpartum Support International offers a helpline and online support groups.

For the longer road, our guide to when parenting is hard: sabr, dua and help brings faith and practical support together.